Tonight: My last dip

This will really make some of you think I am just some hillbilly. Minutes ago, I just took my last dip out of my mouth. For those that do not know what ‘dip’ is, it is smokeless tobacco. In this case, Kodiak Wintergreen.

I started dipping thanks to baseball when I was about 15 or 16 years old playing legion ball one summer. I continued to dip through out high school and on in through college and since I played baseball in college, it was a part of who I was.

It was a part of my identity. I had a dip in my mouth during more hours in the day than the hours I did not have a dip in. I was addicted. I am addicted.

My last dip
It may not be pretty, but it’s real: my last can of dip.

Fast forward to today, I just took out my last dip. This is after 20+ years of dipping. You would think I would be making a bigger deal about this. Maybe having some kind of ceremony to celebrate the occasion. But in this world of quitting, it is just Monday night.

Over the last 8 years or so, I have tried to quit numerous times. Obviously, since I just threw out my last dip, I was unsuccessful in my previous attempts. But today is different. I promise! Oh, heard that one before too.

It is a conflicting issue right as it happens. I see the positive attitude and the negative. I literally have the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other. But this blog is my mediator.

I may not succeed in this attempt, but I damn sure am going to try. I am going to quit. The last time I quit was July 4 of last year. It lasted about 6 months until I had a near panic attack and needed the satisfaction of another dip.

But like any good quitter, the minute I fell off the quit train, I was 100 percent hooked after one dip. But this time, I don’t think it was the dip that got to me first. It was a cigar. For a week I was fine, but for whatever reason the amount of events I went to in a quick span all had either cigars or cigarettes. I went from one cigar, to another, only to finish by bumming a half dozen smokes in one night.

From there, I got a near panic attack one evening driving home just thinking about all of the things I need to work on. Throw in that I was tired from a lack of sleep. Something compelled me to pull into the next gas station and buy a dip, so I did. Boom, just like that the quit was over and has been since. Until today.

I already have all my tools ready. Sunflower seeds and blow pops to deal with the oral fixation, candy, beef jerky, and more. All designed to keep my attention away from needing a dip.

The crazy thing is, thanks to some knowledge I picked up from a previous quit, it only takes about 3 days for the physical addiction to wain. Beyond that, it becomes more of a mental battle than a physical one.

I am ready this Memorial Day, I will keep you updated as to any major changes. As of now, I am no longer a dipper. No Me Not!